A Leadership Lesson from Toilet Paper
A Leadership Lesson from Toilet Paper
A Leadership Lesson from Toilet Paper
I’m sure you’re asking, how on earth can I get a leadership lesson from toilet paper? Well, we’ve all been there. Whether it’s because someone is a guest in your house or it’s your significant other, someone has replaced the toilet paper in your bathroom, and they put it on in the wrong direction.
Are you an over or an under? I mean do you place the toilet paper going over the roll or under the roll? Clearly if you’re an under, you are just plain wrong! Over is the obvious best choice because you can spin the roll to find the end. If you’re an under you have to really search for it.
The Curse of Unspoken Expectations
So how do you learn to lead more effectively from a roll of toilet paper? We all have unspoken expectations. In this case, it’s how the toilet paper should go, but in life, it can be just about anything. I have learned that most people don’t fail to meet your expectations because they can’t, not because they don’t want to, or not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know what your expectations are.
Meetings, projects, relationships all revolve around our expectations of each other. When people fail to meet yours, your first questions should be: Did I clearly communicate what my expectations were?
I’ll give you an example. My husband decided to clean our grill, and while he put it back together, he didn’t put the grease pan back in. While I was grilling up hamburgers, my little dog (my white dog) sat under the grease pan and was just licking up all of the grease. It was a sight to behold. I yelled into the house, “I can’t believe you didn’t replace the grease pan!” He yelled back, “I can’t believe you started to grill without checking first!”
What had just happened? While this is a trivial example, the same kind of thing happens in every household, in every office, and in every relationship. We get frustrated with people for not doing what we had expected them to do, when in reality, they can’t read our mind and may not have even known what our expectation really was.
Take time to think about your expectations, at work and at home, and then communicate them. It could be as simple as clearly explaining that you expect someone to meet a deadline or not engage you in office gossip. Bottom line, if you want people to meet your expectations, they have to know what those expectations are.
Oh, and if you’re an under, you should totally re-think your toilet paper strategy!
Anne Grady is a Speaker, Author, and #TruthBomb Dropper.
Anne shares practical strategies that can be applied both personally and professionally to improve relationships, navigate change, and triumph over adversity. And she’ll make you laugh while she does it. Anne is a two time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured in numerous media outlets, including Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Fast Company and Inc. magazines, CNN, ESPN, and FOX Business. She is the best selling author of 52 Strategies for Life, Love & Work and Strong Enough: Choosing Courage, Resilience and Triumph.
I had an incredible time chatting with @dr.cindyspeaks on Positively Altered about one of my favorite topics >> resilience!
💪 We covered everything from how stress affects the brain to actionable strategies for resetting your resilience and reclaiming balance. Plus… we even talked donkeys!
🎧 Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-23-the-resilience-reset-transforming-stress/id1773804535?i=1000699134975
In this episode, we dive into:
🧠 How to train your brain for resilience
😩 The power of sitting in the “suck”
💡 Simple strategies to reset stress and find balance
If you’re ready to transform stress into strength, this one’s for you!
What is on your to-do list for the week? ✅
I’m sure it includes meetings, tasks, personal chores, and follow-ups, but does it include things that bring you joy?
Instead of waiting for happiness, create it.. You can even focus on enjoyable things while doing the have-to do things.
Slogging through paperwork? Light a candle and listen to your favorite tunes.
Going for a drive? Listen to a stand-up comic or a great book.
Don’t neglect what brings you joy and happiness—make it a ritual and part of your resilience-building routine.
You know that heart-stopping moment when you try to change lanes, only to realize that someone is in your blind spot?
Blind spots aren’t just for driving. In life and leadership, we all have blind spots—things others see clearly that we don’t.
The tricky part? Blind spots aren’t always glaring flaws. Often, they’re our good intentions getting lost in translation. So, how do you uncover them?
Here’s a simple twist that will make a big difference: Ask for advice instead of feedback. 🗣
This slight shift makes people more likely to offer constructive, actionable insights—without triggering defensiveness. Plus, it builds trust and strengthens relationships.
Rather than trying to make drastic changes, pick one behavior and integrate it into your day.
Want to start a gratitude practice? Do it while you brush your teeth. Want to take deep breaths? Practice while you make coffee. Adding a new habit to an existing one makes it easier to stick with it.
#mindfulmonday #habitstacking #atomichabits #jamesclear
Humor changes your biochemistry, emotions, thoughts, and behavior. 😆
A positive mood boosts your immune system! Whether you find your laughter through being around friends, going to a comedy show, watching funny movies, or just being goofy, don’t underestimate the power of a belly laugh and a sense of humor.
When something stressful happens, there are really 2 different things taking place.
There’s the thing that is happening, and then there is the story that you tell yourself about the thing that’s happening.
The story is where criticism, judgment, self-doubt, and shame come in.
Whatever you have going on in your life right now, take a step back and try to view it from a third-person perspective. See if you can separate the facts from the story you tell yourself about it.
If we can start to separate the situation from the story, the story becomes much less scary because we realize it is one we’re telling.
This makes it easier to accept where you are without judgment, self-doubt, and shame. What we practice grows stronger. 📕
A lesson worth learning! http://t.co/aRoD1CEBbC
So true! And it’s so easy to think people know what your expectations are and not even consider that you need to communicate them.
This is a good reminder.
Oh, and of course OVER is the way! 🙂
I find myself guilty of this more often than I care to admit 🙂 Great to hear from you, Tracy! I hope all is well.
Thanks again, Anne! You always give great direction in a way that people are open to hearing. Have a blessed day!
Thanks Esther!
I’m an “over” gal myself, but I’ve been told by my friends who own cats that “under” is best, that way when the cat decides to swat at the roll while you’re away it won’t unravel 😉
Ha! Erin, I’ve never thought of that. Great point!
I so needed to hear this because I was just having a conversation last night with my mother about something I felt she should have done already, but has not for very good reasons. I’d been very angry about it and now that we communicated what we wanted and needed from one another to make this thing happen I think we…I am in a better place and can stop being so…well, daughterlike. Of course, I am so guilty of thinking people will know what I want because I feel that it is the logical way to do it, but everyone doesn’t think like me or even read my thoughts. Thank you for making me see that I’m not the only one AND that I have something to work on. Looks like communication is typically the key. The toilet paper roll has been discussed at length in my house, so there is NO question that it MUST be OVER. 😀
Hi Nikwai,
Very funny, I recently had a similar experience with my mother 🙂 Thanks for your comment. And over is clearly the right way 😉