Are You A Tapper?
Are You A Tapper?
Are You A Tapper?
I recently started reading Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath. It’s a really interesting look at how to really make ideas and communication “stick”. They explain a study in the 90’s in which a Ph.D. candidate created a simple game. She assigned people one of two roles: tappers and listeners.
Basically, the tappers got a list of simple songs that most of us know: Happy Birthday, The Star-Spangled Banner, Old McDonald, etc. The listeners had to guess what song was being tapped. Simple right?
The tappers anticipated that the listeners would guess the songs correctly 50% of the time when, in reality, they only got it right 2% of the time. The tappers were becoming increasingly frustrated with the listeners. After all, how could you not guess Happy Birthday when tapped out on a table?
They found it was due to “the curse of knowledge”. Once we know something, it’s hard to imagine what it was like to not know it. Because the tappers knew what song they were tapping, they actually heard the song in their head. It was impossible for them not to hear the song when tapping, which made it difficult to understand why
the listener couldn’t figure out the song.
Ah, the curse of knowledge. What seems so completely common sense to us, based on our knowledge or frame of reference, can be perceived so differently from someone else who is looking at the situation from their perspective.
This happens in work, at home, and in every area of our life. If you’ve ever had a conversation with someone and felt completely frustrated because they just didn’t “get it”, you’ve been a tapper. If you’ve been on the other side of the conversation and been frustrated because the other person is completely convinced their right, and you think they’re nuts, it might be because you can’t hear the song in their head.
Are you a tapper? Since you can’t unlearn what you already know, it’s important to take time to hum the tune for others. Be careful not to expect people to automatically know things that seem second nature to you. You’ll spend a lot of time frustrated, and they still won’t get it. What tune will you tap this week?
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💪 We covered everything from how stress affects the brain to actionable strategies for resetting your resilience and reclaiming balance. Plus… we even talked donkeys!
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🧠 How to train your brain for resilience
😩 The power of sitting in the “suck”
💡 Simple strategies to reset stress and find balance
If you’re ready to transform stress into strength, this one’s for you!
What is on your to-do list for the week? ✅
I’m sure it includes meetings, tasks, personal chores, and follow-ups, but does it include things that bring you joy?
Instead of waiting for happiness, create it.. You can even focus on enjoyable things while doing the have-to do things.
Slogging through paperwork? Light a candle and listen to your favorite tunes.
Going for a drive? Listen to a stand-up comic or a great book.
Don’t neglect what brings you joy and happiness—make it a ritual and part of your resilience-building routine.
You know that heart-stopping moment when you try to change lanes, only to realize that someone is in your blind spot?
Blind spots aren’t just for driving. In life and leadership, we all have blind spots—things others see clearly that we don’t.
The tricky part? Blind spots aren’t always glaring flaws. Often, they’re our good intentions getting lost in translation. So, how do you uncover them?
Here’s a simple twist that will make a big difference: Ask for advice instead of feedback. 🗣
This slight shift makes people more likely to offer constructive, actionable insights—without triggering defensiveness. Plus, it builds trust and strengthens relationships.
Rather than trying to make drastic changes, pick one behavior and integrate it into your day.
Want to start a gratitude practice? Do it while you brush your teeth. Want to take deep breaths? Practice while you make coffee. Adding a new habit to an existing one makes it easier to stick with it.
#mindfulmonday #habitstacking #atomichabits #jamesclear
Humor changes your biochemistry, emotions, thoughts, and behavior. 😆
A positive mood boosts your immune system! Whether you find your laughter through being around friends, going to a comedy show, watching funny movies, or just being goofy, don’t underestimate the power of a belly laugh and a sense of humor.
When something stressful happens, there are really 2 different things taking place.
There’s the thing that is happening, and then there is the story that you tell yourself about the thing that’s happening.
The story is where criticism, judgment, self-doubt, and shame come in.
Whatever you have going on in your life right now, take a step back and try to view it from a third-person perspective. See if you can separate the facts from the story you tell yourself about it.
If we can start to separate the situation from the story, the story becomes much less scary because we realize it is one we’re telling.
This makes it easier to accept where you are without judgment, self-doubt, and shame. What we practice grows stronger. 📕
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Anne Grady is a Speaker, Author, and #TruthBomb Dropper.
Anne shares practical strategies that can be applied both personally and professionally to improve relationships, navigate change, and triumph over adversity. And she’ll make you laugh while she does it. Anne is a two time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured in numerous media outlets, including Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Fast Company and Inc. magazines, CNN, ESPN, and FOX Business. She is the best selling author of 3 books. Her newest, Mind Over Moment: Harness the Power of Resilience, is available on Amazon now.
Busted. I’ve fallen into this trap many times and allowed it to frustrate me. Thanks for the reminder.
Been there, done that, still wearing the t-shirt 🙂
Very good. This give me some ideas for our Strategic Planning in a few weeks. I might have our team to try this exercise.
Thanks!
Hi Eddie! Great to hear from you. Let me know how the activity goes!
Good Morning Anne thank you for all you do. Every one of you posting hit right on the money. I really love reading your posting and look forward to reading them al the time. I guess I am a tapper, I will stop and learn to hum the tune. Have a Blessed Day!
An absolute truism in the arena of customer service and support if there ever was one. The example really makes it clear and easy for others to understand.
-Jay Grady (who has somewhat of a relationship with the blog’s author, though I caaaan’t quite put my finger on it…hhmmmm)
Excellent word. Knowledge or lack of has tripped me up in many conversations. I’m guilty of being the frustrated tapper and listener. Now I step back in either situation, take a breath and remember John Maxwell’s statement “people don’t care what you know until they know that you care”. Thanks for the encouragement!!
Thanks Nita! I love John Maxwell…got to see him speak a couple years ago…hilarious and so motivational.
Hope to see you at the conference!
It takes two to tango and the listener may have poor listening skills as well. I have learned to pay attention to what I’m thinking when listening to someone. The instant one begins to formulate a response is usually the instant they stopped listening and miss the most important element of what is being said. I have learned to listen with my entire being or I miss valuable information.
Hey Loyd,
Great to hear from you! You’re so right. If you can teach others how you’ve learned to do that, you’ll be a very rich man!