Let go to level up
Let go to level up
Let go to level up
A bad habit. An abusive relationship. The pants you haven’t been able to button since 2004. Sometimes in life, we have to let things go.
Letting go can be difficult, scary, and even painful at times, but it is a necessary part of leveling up. When you hold on to things that no longer serve you, you create unnecessary friction, tension, and struggle in your life. Letting go allows you to live with greater ease and peace.
Here are a few examples of things that may no longer serve you:
Unrealistic Expectations
In my second TEDxTalk, I quoted one of my favorite lyrics from singer/songwriter Ray Wylie Hubbard. He sang, “The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations – well, I have really good days.” I have found that when we feel frustration or disappointment, it is often because our expectations and reality are out of alignment.
Let’s face it. We have a lot of expectations. We have a picture in our mind of what ____ (life, love, relationships, success, etc.) is supposed to look like. When those expectations are not met, it is easy to feel deflated, disenfranchised, and disappointed.
What expectations are no longer serving you? These can be expectations of yourself or others. Anytime you feel disappointment, it is most likely because an expectation is not being met. You can’t always change reality, but you can shift your expectations.
Self-Defeating Stories
What are the stories you tell yourself about your life? These stories shape our brain and body’s response. I told myself for years how unfair my life was. I compared my situation with Evan with all of my friends who had happy, healthy, neuro-typical kids. I told myself all kinds of stories of how hard my life was. That may have been true, but if your story isn’t serving you, it’s time to let it go. Instead, how can you move to a neutral version of the story? For me, my daily mantras became, “It is what it is” and “I’ll figure it out”.
Notice, I didn’t go from a negative to a positive story. When we try to trick ourselves, our brain doesn’t play along. Our narrative, or the story we tell ourselves about our situation, is the way we make sense of our lives. These stories are also ways to justify our behavior. The way we narrate our story shapes what we become. If your story is no longer serving you, it’s time to let it go.
Habits
If you’ve ever tried to adopt a new habit or quit an unproductive one, you know how hard it can be. If you have a habit that is no longer serving you, create friction between you and the behavior.
I have a bad habit. After dinner, my family and I love to plop on the couch and watch a show. Unfortunately, that’s about the time I become a grazer. What would make this show better? Something salty, of course. But then, something sweet, followed by something salty. I love to munch. Here’s where friction comes in… I can’t graze unhealthy food if we don’t have any. Not buying junk has been harder than I thought, but it certainly makes it easier not to eat it.
If you want to form a new habit, try stacking it with one you already have.
For example, I brush my teeth twice a day. When I started my gratitude practice, I “stacked” it with brushing my teeth. Behavior change is easier if you tie a new habit to an existing one.
Relationships
Letting go of unhealthy relationships is not for the faint of heart. Vulnerability and authenticity are about becoming more of who you already are and tapping into your unique strengths, not molding yourself into the person you think others want you to be. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we are able to address core emotions and belief patterns that may be keeping us stuck.
You are a representation of the people you spend the most time with. When those relationships cause you to question yourself or your values, there’s a good chance they are no longer serving you. If you can’t let go of the relationships, create distance. This might be a physical boundary, but it can also be psychological distance. Social connection and community drive long-term happiness and resilience, but toxic relationships wear down your emotional reserves.
Whenever possible, surround yourself with people who lift you up, celebrate, and laugh with you (or at you), and distance yourself from people who add negativity to your life. When that’s not possible, practice emotional awareness, acceptance, and gratitude. Your brain will thank you.
Conclusion
When you find it difficult to let go, start with a few questions:
- Can I control it?
- Is holding on to this good for my well-being?
- Am I limiting myself?
- Is this serving me?
What are you holding on to that is no longer serving you? Pick one thing and start here:
Today, I am choosing to let go of _____________.
Letting go is a skill; start with your breath, exhaling deeply when you’re feeling challenged or pushed beyond your boundaries. You’ll begin to realize how many times you’ve been holding on to something as simple as your breath.
You may not be completely ready to let go, and that’s okay. Part of learning to level up is giving yourself grace and practicing self-compassion. We are all a work in progress. Be kind to yourself.
Stay brave and resilient,
Anne
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Anne breaks down the daily habits and skills needed to grow and cultivate RESILIENCE.
Having friendships and a sense of belonging is considered a core psychological need and has a big impact on our physical and mental health.
In fact, it has been proven that social connection is one of the best predictors of longevity, which is why I`ve dedicated an entire module in the Resilience Reset Deep Dive to the importance of social connection to build resilience. Learn more 👉👉👉 https://www.annegradygroup.com/deepdive/
Here`s what my girls Wendy and Daisy have taught me about the importance of connection 🎥
Let’s face it - life is stressful. The lines between our personal and professional lives have blurred, we are overwhelmed by increased workloads and decreased resources, and there is an unprecedented amount of change and uncertainty.
Uncertainty often leads to anxiety because the brain tends to fill in the gaps with worst-case scenarios. You can help your brain cope with anxiety by practicing these skills 👇
1️⃣ Cultivate a Growth Mindset
2️⃣ Practice Mindfulness
3️⃣ Control the controllables
4️⃣ Break it down
5️⃣ Maintain Healthy Habits
More tips and strategies are in this month’s blog post. The link is in my bio!
Did you know that resilient teams have:
⭐️ 74% less stress AND 75% greater productivity
⭐️ Higher engagement and performance
⭐️ Improved Innovation and creativity
⭐️ Stronger relationships & Greater well-being
Using the latest research in neuroscience and psychology, the Resilience Reset Deep Dive provides a road map to developing resilient leaders, teams, and organizations. Interested in learning more? Here`s a sneak preview of one of the modules. 🎥👀
#ThrowbackThursday to a Tiger King Halloween 🐯
Realistic optimism is a mindset that combines a positive outlook with a grounded understanding of reality. It involves maintaining hope and confidence while acknowledging and accepting the challenges and uncertainties of life.
Rather than denying or minimizing difficulties, approach situations with resilience, flexibility, and a belief in your ability to navigate obstacles effectively. You’ve got this. #mindfulmonday
We’ve all had those days where everything seems to go wrong. You wake up late, your coffee spills and your car won’t start. It’s easy to let a lousy morning spiral out of control and ruin your entire day.
Wherever we direct our attention becomes our reality. In other words, we find what we look for. Here are 3 things you can do to create a bad moment boundary:
1️⃣ Accept It: The sooner you can give it a quick “It is what it is” label, the better.
2️⃣ Put It in a Box: You can revisit the box later, but for now, the box holds this experience, and you don’t need to carry it.
3️⃣ Reset: Rather than jump into the next task or activity, take three deep breaths, extending the exhale.
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*Link is also in my bio*
Anne Grady is a Speaker, Author, and #TruthBomb Dropper.
Anne shares practical strategies that can be applied both personally and professionally to improve relationships, navigate change, and triumph over adversity. And she’ll make you laugh while she does it. Anne is a two time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured in numerous media outlets, including Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Fast Company and Inc. magazines, CNN, ESPN, and FOX Business. She is the best selling author of 52 Strategies for Life, Love & Work and Strong Enough: Choosing Courage, Resilience and Triumph.