If you follow me, have seen me speak or read my books, chances are you are into self-improvement. We can all make improvements personally, professionally, in all areas of our life.
Lately I have found that people are overwhelmed by it. There so many experts, so many books, so many solutions to every problem that it can become overwhelming. Developing and improving yourself should not be overwhelming, so I’d like to try and simplify it.
If you’re not happy with the result you’re getting in your relationships, your kids, your job, or your life in general you have two choices.
- You can change the way you think and behave to get a different result.
- You can settle for the result you’re getting based on how you think and behave.
It doesn’t work any other way.
I’d like to introduce you to a concept I’ve come up with called “Mind Over Moment”. Basically this means you make small choices, micro-decisions, throughout the course of your day to achieve the life you want. Now that sounds like common sense, but common sense isn’t always common practice. Where do you want to change your life? Here’s an example of how this might play out.
Let’s say it’s a relationship with somebody at work. Imagine that you have a colleague that you get along with really well. You just click and you like working with each other, and this person sends you an email that says “Hey I caught some mistakes in your report I’m going to stop by around 3pm so we can go over it”.
Because you like this person and it’s always been an easy relationship you’re probably relieved that they found the errors before you turned it in, and you might even look forward to seeing them that afternoon.
Now conversely, let’s say you get the same exact email from somebody you’ve always had a difficult or contentious relationship with. For whatever reason it’s like oil and water. You find this person’s work style often clashes with yours. They sent you the identical email. “Hey I caught some mistakes in your report I’m going to stop by around 3pm so we can go over it”.
Being in the moment and being thoughtful and deliberate about how you think and behave is realizing in that moment that you are reading those two emails through completely different filters. Instead of appreciation for feedback, now you may find yourself anxious, frustrated, or resentful for them pointing out mistakes. You’re assigning tone, meaning, feelings, and emotions to both emails and they will impact the way you approach both of those 3pm discussions.
It’s easy to get caught being reactive throughout different areas of your life, and then read a book and try to change everything all at once. When really, it’s about being mindful in the moment, making subtle, little choices that will transform your life.
I’ve seen it work. I’ve experienced it. Be mindful about the choices you’re making. Be mindful about whether you’re taking time to quiet your mind. It could be setting a timer for three minutes and just being still, yet being alone with our thoughts is so scary that three minutes seems like an eternity. Make subtle choices each day so that you can see measurable differences.