I’m willing to bet that when you woke up this morning, your first words were not, “Today is a great day to fail!” But maybe they should have been.

I have been allergic to failure my entire life. I went on a hunger strike until I could learn to tie my own shoes…when I was two. After my divorce, I felt like a complete failure. And when Evan didn’t get better after each intervention we tried, I felt like the worst mom ever.

What I didn’t realize was that each of those failures weren’t really failures at all, and they would change the trajectory of my life, helping me become a stronger, smarter, better version of myself.

One of the most powerful things you can do to build resilience is to shift your mindset. Your mindset is a set of conscious and unconscious beliefs that affect how you think about your abilities, how you behave, how you affect those around you, and how you view the adversity in your life. This view profoundly affects the way you live your life.

“One of the most powerful things you can do to build resilience is to shift your mindset.”

Have you ever thought to yourself:

• I’m just not a ______ person (athletic, math, creative, etc.)
• Why is _____ moving ahead faster in his/her career than I am?
• I want to speak up, but I don’t want to sound stupid or be judged.

An alternative mindset might be:

• There is no such thing as a _____ person. For example, athleticism didn’t come naturally for me, so I just assumed I wasn’t athletic and didn’t put in the effort and work to improve.
• It doesn’t matter whether someone is moving ahead faster than you. The real question is, are you better tomorrow than you were today. 
• Are you more concerned with looking smart or getting smarter?

We each have natural strengths and abilities, but what if every day you viewed your skills, personality traits and capabilities as a mere starting point? If you valued your basic qualities and strengths, but recognize that with effort and persistence, there’s no telling what you could accomplish? 

What we practice grows stronger, both positively and negatively, and a mindset is nothing more than a habit of thought or belief system. Fortunately, beliefs can be changed.

#1 – Get to Know Your Mindset

Carol Dweck, a psychologist and researcher at Stanford University coined the terms “Fixed Mindset” and “Growth Mindset”. Someone with a fixed mindset tends to believe that his/her intelligence, talents, and abilities are what they are. You are either good at something or not. Someone with a growth mindset, however, views his/her intelligence and abilities as a starting point.

Everyone operates on a continuum, meaning that certain people or tasks can bring out more of one mindset or another. A growth mindset nurtures a passion for learning rather than hunger for approval and changes the way we navigate challenges and adversity.

People who operate with a growth mindset are more agile, adaptable, and resilient because they use fear as fuel, adversity as a catalyst, and growth as the true measure of success.

#2 – Practice Mind Over Moment to Choose Your Mindset

Although you cannot always control the chaos and adversity in your life, you can control how you respond to it by shifting your mindset to purposely respond rather than react. Mind Over Moment is a practice to help you do just that. It’s a drawer of mental tools to help you recalibrate your thoughts, feelings, habits, and behaviors in the moments you have them so you can better control your responses and outcomes. 

The key is to be mindful, catching yourself shirking from a challenge because you are afraid to fail – and doing it anyway. Instead of striving to look smart, you can invest in getting smarter. Instead of focusing on being the best, you can focus on getting better.

#3 – Identify What Is Keeping You Stuck

What triggers your fixed mindset? It might be fear of embarrassment, lack of sleep, having your performance evaluated, or competing against others. Once you know what triggers you into a place of fear instead of improvement, you can make a conscious decision about what to do next.

The growth mindset enables us to see ourselves and others as capable of improvement, squeezing the good out of challenge to emerge on the other side with new skills sets, stronger emotional health and greater influence. 

Use this difficult time to build the understanding that resilience comes from believing you will emerge stronger on the other side. When you find yourself overwhelmed, complaining and frightened, try saying, ‘This is certainly not ideal, but what can I take from it?’

Seeing challenges as opportunities allows you to proactively cultivate a growth mindset, and that can help you respond with resilience when life throws you a curveball.

Your mindset is your foundation for resilience, and your habits and belief system impact the way you see yourself, interact with those around you, view adversity, and so much more. 

Mind Over Moment allows you to be proactive and deliberate in the choices you make and the habits you practice. Are your thoughts and beliefs serving you? What is the story you are telling yourself about yourself? It’s difficult to see the world in a way that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. 

It’s time to make your mindset work for you.

Stay brave and resilient,

Anne